Special Summer Episode: Mall Madness

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Greetings, friends! We hope you’ll enjoy our special summer episode “Mall Madness,” in which we discuss the classic Roseanne season 1 episode “Mall Story.” The Conners, Jackie and Crystal are heading to the mall for a big sale—Dan needs shoes, Becky needs a dress, Crystal needs “taaaahhhhls,” and Jackie needs to admire the pecs on some storefront fitness guru. Laugh along with us at this silly episode’s absurd dialogue, and remember the days when you could not only leave your house and be near other humans, but you could spend hours wandering around one of America’s suburban retail meccas in your coolest jean jacket! Join us as we grab an Orange Julius, try on some synthetic party clothes at DEB, pick up some cassingles at Sam Goody, and check out the dirty novelties in the back of Spencer’s Gifts. Yep, we’re here to talk malls, malls, and nothing but malls, including other mall episodes of such programs as Designing Women, The Nanny, Stranger Things, and Daria, and our own favorite mall memories.

S2 Episode 13: The Salads of My Youth

Hey everyone, we’ve got a nice one here for you—another trip to Season 3 of the original series, to visit the episode entitled “Home Ec.” This one finds Roseanne giving a lesson in feeding a family to Darlene’s Home Economics class. Here, we digress an awful lot, mostly about the presence of a teeny Leo DiCaprio in the background of Darlene’s classroom, and about our own junior high school Home Ec nightmares. Mostly, we talk about salad dressing. Catalina? What the *&% is that?

S2 Episode 12: Loving Throuples, Missing Crystal

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In our latest episode, we recap the Conners season 2, episode 14, “Bad Dads and Grads,” in which Darlene and Ben ponder having a baby (or he forces her to ponder, depending on your perspective), Jackie ponders joining guest stars Jennifer Grey and Clark Gregg in a throuple, and Dan works through his anger toward his late father and reconnects with Ed Jr. (“little Ed”), his father’s son with Crystal. We express skepticism about Darlene and Ben’s baby-making haste and complete enthusiasm for Jackie’s potential new lease on love, but focus mainly on Dan, looking back at the two-part classic episode from Roseanne season 3, “The Courtship of Eddie, Dan’s Father”/”The Wedding,” which tells the story of Ed Sr.’s marriage to Crystal and her pregnancy. We parse inconsistencies in the storyline from then to now, and wonder why Crystal (our beloved Natalie West) can’t come back and clear up this mess. As always, we also indulge in some tangential discussions — of our favorite Leap Day TV episodes, the creepy genius of Flowers in the Attic, and our love of sweaters (plus, you won’t want to miss Katherine’s rendition of John Denver’s “Rocky Mountain High”). Join us!

S2 Episode 11: If I Were Dwight

Hey listeners! After a short delay, we present to you our most recent discussion of two recent episodes of The Conners, which we’re calling, “If I were Dwight.” In this, we take on “Live from Lanford,” the live episode written around the New Hampshire primaries – a fun and successful effort in live broadcasting, we think. We do feel sad about Dan and Louise’s breakup, but we also think it’s a little weird that everyone acts like her 3-month tour is such a lengthy time away. Like, why can’t she go on tour AND stick it out with Dan, you know? Harris is still an a-hole, but Mark is a cutie pie. The main thing, though, is that our friend Dwight is such a PAL to Louise and to Dan, and he’s really delivering the goods in terms of Lanford’s Steel Magnolias spinoff. We also discuss the episode following, “Brothers, Babies, and Breakdowns,” in which Ben gets really intense about wanting a baby all of the sudden. While we think he’s a Hot Dad™, we think he’s putting way too much pressure on Darlene to do something she doesn’t want to do. Dwight, again, is perfect as he shows up, breaks down, and pulls through (in that order) for the Lunch Box as Lanford’s next big stew chef. Thank goodness! Lastly, we freak out about the appearance of Little Ed, Dan’s brother and Crystal’s son, who calls on Dan to help him deal with the aftermath of Big Ed’s death. HOLY CRAP. But, wait, what? Where IS Crystal? We hope you listen and enjoy as you catch up with The Conners along with us!

S2 Episode 10: Girlfriends, College Costs, and the Artist Formerly Known as Jackie

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We’re back with another installment chatting about season two of The Conners! Join us as we discuss the latest episode, “Mud Turtles, a Good Steak, and One Man in a Tub” (a lengthy title which we’ve matched with one of our own), in which a storyline about Harris’s college prospects and the daunting cost of tuition brings us back to Roseanne’s roots in its mostly sharp commentary on socioeconomic issues. Plus, we celebrate Jackie’s new friendship with Cheryl Hines as Dawn (who starts out seeming like a “gal-pal” but ends up a mere girlfriend), and her unexpected artistic talent, which reveals itself in a “wine and painting” class. Finally, we mull over Louise’s ultimatum to Dan, and consider how nice it would be if her band would just play on the show with David Crosby, already. Stick around too for our tangents on Black Mirror, Quantum Leap, student loan debt, and Katherine’s (amazing) bigfoot-related artwork.