S3 Ep 7: A Heavy Coat with No Closet to Hang It

Capital insurrections, inaugurations, a pandemic, and another impeachment, and yet The Conners keeps rolling along. We are catching up with what’s happened in Lanford lately in our latest episode, and it’s a lot! First, in The Conners’ “A Cold Mom, a Brother Daddy and a Prison Baby,” Ben’s mom, who doesn’t have a name and looks a LOT like Murphy Brown, has some intense news about Ben’s father. The inimitable Candice Bergen appears as Ben’s mother, whose elegance masks a peculiar likeness to the dowager Harris, Bev. Meanwhile, Becky rejects Emilio’s limp handshake of a come-on, and we have mixed feelings about it. We also discuss “Young Love, Old Lions and Middle-Aged Hyenas,” in which Ben tries to help by building a closet for Becky, and makes Dan unduly angry, albeit correct. And we think Harris’s new boyfriend Josh is cute and stupid, and a jarringly convincing portrayal of an interloper in political activism, centering himself in causes that don’t directly affect him. As always, we talk about what we’ve been doing and watching – there’s a little Night Stalker talk, and a tangent about an unaired British series featuring Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson. Katherine gets a little bit imperious about teaching on Zoom.

S3 E3: Take It In the Shorts? What Does That Mean?

In this episode, we catch up on The Conners’ Covid Halloween and Darlene’s tough adjustment to her new job at Wellman’s—episodes 2 & 3 of The Conners Season 3. Like a lot of folks, we have more to say about The Vow versus Seduced, the appeal of The Queen’s Gambit, and the divinity of the pristine grocery store in Supermarket Sweep. We talk about the way the family deals with a cancelled trick or treat night in Lanford in “Halloween and The Election vs. The Pandemic,” and the emotional pendulum of the Halloween theme with the family crisis about Mary’s status as a latchkey kid (in 2020!). We also examine Darlene’s characterization as an elitist, and the odd juxtaposition of the mean-girlesque, juvenile social dynamics of the women at Wellman accusing Darlene of snobbery while calling her names and rendering their “high-brow” Marie Antoinette joke. We end on some final thoughts about the contrast between the first season episode, “Let’s Call it Quits” which we discussed in our last episode, and the anti-union-ish rhetoric of the conversation between Darlene and her co-worker Nicole in “Plastics, Trash Talk, and Darlene Antoinette.” Join us!

S2: E20 – The Kiss, Part 2

Hello all! This is the second half of our talk about “White Men Can’t Kiss,” Roseanne‘s episode about implicit racism and its effects. Here, we continue to deal with what we found especially effective about this episode, as compared to “very special” episodes about race on other TV series – 90210, for example. Starting with Dan’s awkward conversation with Chuck during the guys’ poker game through to the final scene in which Roseanne encounters Gina’s father (and her own racist assumptions), we unpack the successes and failures of the racial politics of this episode. While we do talk about the present, and the racism of our subject’s titular source, we spend our time primarily on this single episode. We hope you’ll listen and tell us your thoughts.

S2 Ep 17: Ziggy and The Conners from Mars

Darlene, why are you being such a Karen? I mean…she confesses to harassing a cop and living to tell the tale – and in fact, didn’t she JUST defy a cop and go to jail a few weeks ago? Oh, man. At any rate, this episode begins with our discussion of “CPAPs, Hickey’s, and Biscuits.” We talk a bit about Darlene and Ben’s relationship progression, and how, like, they aren’t really doing things in the normal order, but that’s cool. More than this, we coo a bit over Dan and Louise sealing the deal (they DO IT), and how maybe this CPAP storyline is an allegory for the importance of wearing your dang mask when you go out! Louise is SO COOL, and like Dan says, she even looks hot in her bedtime bonnet and eye mask strips.

We pair this with a fine old episode of the original series called “Born to be Wild,” in which the Conners are visited by an old friend and his Harley. Ziggy reminds Dan and Roseanne about their younger days, feeling the wind in their hair… and he agrees to help Dan fix up his old bike that has been lying dead and rusting in the garage. Leather jackets are worn by all, and somehow we end up with a lengthy appreciation of Bob Seger. Please enjoy our latest installment, and stay tuned as we finish out season 2 of The Conners!

S2 Ep 15: Bev!

In this podcast episode, we focus in on the dowager Harris, Bev. The world’s nitpicking-est mom, the devotion-seeking grandmother, the ever-youthful-and-probably-a-vampire Bev, so perfectly portrayed by also likely-to-be immortal Estelle Parsons. We begin by talking about recent The Conners episode, “The Ice Woman Cometh,” which finds Bev returned to Lanford with money in hand for precious Mark’s summer camp for smartypants. Darlene pursues equal money for Harris, betraying the deserving Mark in cold fashion. We question Harris’s inexplicable new career aspiration – to go to tattoo school (Listen. That’s really not a thing.) And Dan’s heart breaks over Louise, but at least we get to see Katey Segal rock with a full band. Next, we discuss the similar original series episode from Season 5, entitled “Mommy Nearest,” wherein Bev gives Jackie and Roseanne $10,000 each from her divorce settlement, with the caveat that she’s moving to Lanford. You can imagine how Jackie and Dan react. There’s a LOT of horse talk in this episode, as well as a detailed description of a totally problematic Jackie sweater, and a rant connecting Breaking Bad and Tiger King. Please join us!

S2 Episode 13: The Salads of My Youth

Hey everyone, we’ve got a nice one here for you—another trip to Season 3 of the original series, to visit the episode entitled “Home Ec.” This one finds Roseanne giving a lesson in feeding a family to Darlene’s Home Economics class. Here, we digress an awful lot, mostly about the presence of a teeny Leo DiCaprio in the background of Darlene’s classroom, and about our own junior high school Home Ec nightmares. Mostly, we talk about salad dressing. Catalina? What the *&% is that?

S2, Episode 7: Slap That Turkey!

Thanksgiving is upon us, with an OPEN HAND. In this episode, we cover the dramatic holiday episode of The Conners, “Slappy Holidays,” wherein voices are raised not in mirth and merriment, but in anger and probable tequila drunkenness. Jackie, Darlene, and Harris are all at their worst, while the rest of the family copes with the mayhem. In the episode, a delayed dinner and too much booze leads to a MAJOR blowout, culminating in a SLAP, that brings us back to the history of abuse in the Harris family. It’s painful, emotional, upsetting, and therefore utterly true to the holiday, and to the original series. We also revisit classic Roseanne Thanksgiving episodes and the history of delightful melee among the Conners and Harrises. Highlights include turtleneck philosophies, tales of Maura’s talent show exploits, and Conner memories in garage stories. Please enjoy!

S2, Episode 3: A Not-So-Bizarre Love Triangle and a Not-So-Ugly Baby

Hey listeners! You may have noticed that we missed last week. We both had weddings to attend! But we haven’t abandoned ship – BY NO MEANS! Here, we catch up on The Conners second and third Season 2 episodes, “A Kiss is Just a Kiss” and “The Preemie Monologues.” We agree that these two episodes feel more natural and organic, and the pace feels right. Both episodes involve Becky’s struggles as a mom, both physical and financial, and deal with class and women’s issues in a way that is true to the original. Likewise, we see Darlene and David stand up for little Mark in a way that does justice to some of Roseanne Conner’s shining parental moments. Darlene’s LOVE TRIANGLE gets more cumbersome as, once again, she attempts to hide the presence of our dear David, and irresistible Ben begins to worry that Darlene needs some professional help. Dan is back to his sweet, not-so aggro self, and this time, we feel good about Katey Segal’s Louise stepping in. As usual, we get off track discussing hairstyles, Medicare for All, global warming, and whether or not Sinbad played a genie in a movie (he did not, you are thinking of the one with Shaq). And Dan Aykroyd is there for some reason! Join us!

Season 2! Episode 1! Becky is a Real Gas!

Welcome back to 714 Delaware St. We are launching Season 2 in time for the upcoming second season of The Connors, our most beloved TV family.

Our inaugural episode, however, returns to another throwback: one of the most explosive episodes of Roseanne, entitled “Inherit the Wind.” You may remember this classic episode as the one in which Becky…Cuts…The…(ahem…if you don’t already know, you probably better listen).

We do a lot of digressing for fun chats about Romy and Michelle, Blade, Q Anon, high school mascots, and more. But(t), it all keeps coming back to what may be the most iconic performances of Lecy Goranson and Sarah Gilbert’s time on Roseanne, and probably the most perfectly delivered line of all time.

Thank you for listening!

Episode 14: Health Care is All the Rage!

714 Delaware St.

Hey, it’s our first episode of 2019! In this episode, we talk about the most recent episode of The Conners (natch!), “Rage Against the Machine,” in which Dan is injured by a vending machine that falls on him covering DJ’s shift at work. We have some questions about how it all works: How is it that Dan can take a shift at a company he doesn’t work for? Why does Dan believe he can reason with management? Why does Darlene of all people hire a personal injury lawyer from an ad at the gas pump? How come Peter Gallagher is so great? We also discuss the slut-shaming of Becky by the bosses at La Casita Bonita, who force her to take a sexual harassment training to stop her from flirting all the time. WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?! Jackie at work as a life coach is a true delight, but we wonder why we haven’t met her rival yet. Maura guesses it will be Valerie Bertinelli; that would be something ELSE!

Finally, we note the strong similarities between this episode and the Season 2 episode of the original series, “Fender Bender,” in which Roseanne suffers pretty severe whiplash after being rear-ended by her former factory boss and hair salon client, the insufferably thoughtless Meg Wellman. Universal health care, we ultimately determine, is one answer to the conundrum these episodes present.