S3 E9: The Anxiety Years

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In our latest episode, we do our best to catch up with The Conners by discussing “Panic Attacks, Hardware Store and Big Mouth Billy Bass” and “A Stomach Ache, A Heartbreak and a Grave Mistake.” We delve into the show’s realistic depiction of Darlene’s anxiety (featuring Dr. Fred Savage to the rescue!) as well as our own anxiety (Zoom-related and not), imposter syndrome and its relationship to class and gender. We also analyze Ben’s frustrating white-dude hubris, his relationship with Dan, and Jay R. Ferguson’s talent (he DID graduate from Evening Shade University). We also revel in the second episode’s Roseanne-centric plotline, featuring our beloved Patton Oswalt and a fun subplot involving Becky, Harris, Fatal Attraction, and coffee-table books. Join us for all this plus some extra nonsense about massages, furniture-store props, and fake maple syrup.

S3 E8: A Marvelous Night for a Moondance

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In our latest episode, we catch up on The Conners with recaps of “Promotions, Podcasts and Magic Tea” and “Who Are Bosses, Boats and Eckhart Tolle?” We’re happy Darlene’s got a promotion (though a bit confounded by her managerial style) and even happier that the increasingly hairy Ben is following in our podcasting footsteps. But did he really have to “quit” Instacart? Plus, Jackie and Neville trip on “tea,” Jackie preps for Jeopardy! and Dan’s boat envy threatens to ruin his relationship with his longtime friend and business partner, Chuck. We ask the important questions, like, when did Wellman’s get a union? Why isn’t Dan straight-up stoked about cruising Lake Michigan with his BFF (and beer)? Did Dwight and Jackie have a tryst? What exactly IS “herbal tea”? Is this the sink, are we shrinking?! 

Join us for all things Conners plus a discussion of our fondest hair removal memories, Van Morrison’s reactionary ways, Meet Joe Black, the most boring episode of The X-Files and our love for Bills Pullman and Hader.

Special Summer Episode: Mall Madness

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Greetings, friends! We hope you’ll enjoy our special summer episode “Mall Madness,” in which we discuss the classic Roseanne season 1 episode “Mall Story.” The Conners, Jackie and Crystal are heading to the mall for a big sale—Dan needs shoes, Becky needs a dress, Crystal needs “taaaahhhhls,” and Jackie needs to admire the pecs on some storefront fitness guru. Laugh along with us at this silly episode’s absurd dialogue, and remember the days when you could not only leave your house and be near other humans, but you could spend hours wandering around one of America’s suburban retail meccas in your coolest jean jacket! Join us as we grab an Orange Julius, try on some synthetic party clothes at DEB, pick up some cassingles at Sam Goody, and check out the dirty novelties in the back of Spencer’s Gifts. Yep, we’re here to talk malls, malls, and nothing but malls, including other mall episodes of such programs as Designing Women, The Nanny, Stranger Things, and Daria, and our own favorite mall memories.

S2 E16: Sister Stories

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Hi folks! In our latest episode, “Sister Stories,” we discuss The Conners episode “Pilot Lights and Sister Fights,” which focuses on the romantic reunion of Dan and Louise and a flare-up of tension between Darlene and Becky, who has been bonding lately with Darlene’s BF Ben (Jay R. Ferguson). Darlene’s stress over trying to have a baby seems to trigger her old feelings of insecurity related to her sister, who has always been considered the more “popular” and personable of the two Conner girls. We analyze this new conflict in relationship to classic Roseanne season 7 episode “Rear Window,” in which Becky and David start to become close while he and Darlene are broken up. Oh, and this episode also features a hilarious A-plot of Roseanne and Dan peeping at their new, VERY elderly nudist neighbors who don’t seem to catch onto Roseanne’s witticisms about “crack” and “Uranus.” Join us as we dive into these episodes and other pertinent issues like the classic stoner film 9 to 5; Maura’s illustrious childhood turn in The Velveteen Rabbit; the mysterious, sartorially-challenged nature of keyboardists; Arby’s, and more!

S2 Episode 13: The Salads of My Youth

Hey everyone, we’ve got a nice one here for you—another trip to Season 3 of the original series, to visit the episode entitled “Home Ec.” This one finds Roseanne giving a lesson in feeding a family to Darlene’s Home Economics class. Here, we digress an awful lot, mostly about the presence of a teeny Leo DiCaprio in the background of Darlene’s classroom, and about our own junior high school Home Ec nightmares. Mostly, we talk about salad dressing. Catalina? What the *&% is that?

S2 Episode 11: If I Were Dwight

Hey listeners! After a short delay, we present to you our most recent discussion of two recent episodes of The Conners, which we’re calling, “If I were Dwight.” In this, we take on “Live from Lanford,” the live episode written around the New Hampshire primaries – a fun and successful effort in live broadcasting, we think. We do feel sad about Dan and Louise’s breakup, but we also think it’s a little weird that everyone acts like her 3-month tour is such a lengthy time away. Like, why can’t she go on tour AND stick it out with Dan, you know? Harris is still an a-hole, but Mark is a cutie pie. The main thing, though, is that our friend Dwight is such a PAL to Louise and to Dan, and he’s really delivering the goods in terms of Lanford’s Steel Magnolias spinoff. We also discuss the episode following, “Brothers, Babies, and Breakdowns,” in which Ben gets really intense about wanting a baby all of the sudden. While we think he’s a Hot Dad™, we think he’s putting way too much pressure on Darlene to do something she doesn’t want to do. Dwight, again, is perfect as he shows up, breaks down, and pulls through (in that order) for the Lunch Box as Lanford’s next big stew chef. Thank goodness! Lastly, we freak out about the appearance of Little Ed, Dan’s brother and Crystal’s son, who calls on Dan to help him deal with the aftermath of Big Ed’s death. HOLY CRAP. But, wait, what? Where IS Crystal? We hope you listen and enjoy as you catch up with The Conners along with us!

S2, Episode 8: Have Yourself a Moldy, Jobless Christmas

On our latest episode, we recap 2019’s final installments of the Conners, “Lanford, Toilet of Sin” and “Smoking Penguins and Santa-on-Santa Action,” analyzing Jackie’s inner struggle over the fate of the Lunchbox, Darlene’s job and daughter woes, the triumphant return (sort of) of the sexily tousled Jay R. Ferguson as Ben, and the family’s strange new tradition of wearing Santa suits to the mall. We delight in appearances from Paul Reubens (aka Sandy Buttinsky aka Pee-Wee) and “zombie Bev”, shake our canes at that ungrateful whipper-snapper Harris, and share our thoughts on subjects ranging from Gumby to mice to dumpster-diving to what exactly they put inside an Orange Julius. Tune in – and happy holidays!

S2, Episode 5: Let Your Dreams Come True!

In this episode, we discuss the semi-Halloweeny “Nightmare on Lunchbox Street” episode of The Conners Season 2.  The revelation that Bev is still the owner of the building the old Lunchbox was in and that Darlene now has power of attorney over Bev gives us pause. We delight in Jackie’s justified rage at the audacity of Bev! Can you imagine—having that nest egg this whole time and STILL forcing Jackie to take care of her? Though there are some costumes, this episode doesn’t go all out on the holiday spookiness, and maybe that’s a good thing. Nevertheless, Laurie Metcalf and Lecy Goranson pull out all the stops on Jackie and Becky as detectives on the case of the lying grandma, and Estelle Parsons is probably a vampire, since she seriously does NOT AGE!  Notably, we both wish the “DJ and Mary Thing” were its own episode, but we are excited to find out if the Lunchbox returns. To add to the fun, Maura has some fun Lunchbox and loose meat trivia!  Thanks for listening!

S2, Episode 3: A Not-So-Bizarre Love Triangle and a Not-So-Ugly Baby

Hey listeners! You may have noticed that we missed last week. We both had weddings to attend! But we haven’t abandoned ship – BY NO MEANS! Here, we catch up on The Conners second and third Season 2 episodes, “A Kiss is Just a Kiss” and “The Preemie Monologues.” We agree that these two episodes feel more natural and organic, and the pace feels right. Both episodes involve Becky’s struggles as a mom, both physical and financial, and deal with class and women’s issues in a way that is true to the original. Likewise, we see Darlene and David stand up for little Mark in a way that does justice to some of Roseanne Conner’s shining parental moments. Darlene’s LOVE TRIANGLE gets more cumbersome as, once again, she attempts to hide the presence of our dear David, and irresistible Ben begins to worry that Darlene needs some professional help. Dan is back to his sweet, not-so aggro self, and this time, we feel good about Katey Segal’s Louise stepping in. As usual, we get off track discussing hairstyles, Medicare for All, global warming, and whether or not Sinbad played a genie in a movie (he did not, you are thinking of the one with Shaq). And Dan Aykroyd is there for some reason! Join us!

Season 2! Episode 1! Becky is a Real Gas!

Welcome back to 714 Delaware St. We are launching Season 2 in time for the upcoming second season of The Connors, our most beloved TV family.

Our inaugural episode, however, returns to another throwback: one of the most explosive episodes of Roseanne, entitled “Inherit the Wind.” You may remember this classic episode as the one in which Becky…Cuts…The…(ahem…if you don’t already know, you probably better listen).

We do a lot of digressing for fun chats about Romy and Michelle, Blade, Q Anon, high school mascots, and more. But(t), it all keeps coming back to what may be the most iconic performances of Lecy Goranson and Sarah Gilbert’s time on Roseanne, and probably the most perfectly delivered line of all time.

Thank you for listening!