All Episodes

S4 E5: A Vest, A Young Guest, and Darlene is a Pest

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In this episode, we discuss two very different recent episodes of The Conners. The first is “Peter Pan, The Backup Plan, Adventures in Babysitting, and a River Runs Through It,” a sort of non-Halloween episode that attempts to catch us up on storylines from Darlene’s spiritual quest (Darlene, you’re still doing it wrong) to Becky’s new life as a college student, Emilio’s new girlfriend, Harris’s romance with Aldo (whose children are portrayed as nerd-serial-killer hybrids), and Dan’s somewhat odd obsession with virtual reality. The second and our favorite, “Young Love, Old Love, and Take This Job and Shove It,” introduces one of the first in-depth storylines focusing on the now-teenage Mark, who develops a reciprocated crush on a young, Moonstruck-quoting goth lad named Logan. Join us as we plunge into these storylines as well as such compelling topics as vests and the women who love them (us), Kieran Culkin, The Babysitters’ Club, Saved by the Bell, and Katherine’s obsession with Cher’s aerobics phase.

S4 E4: Lanford Bridal

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It’s the big day for Dan and Louise — the first official wedding on The Conners in the episode “The Wedding of Dan and Louise”! We analyze this episode’s frenzied path to the altar and discuss its relationship with the two most momentous Roseanne original series wedding episodes, “Altar Egos” (Jackie + Fred’s) and “The Wedding” (David + Darlene). As usual, there’s a whole lot happening on the The Conners — Louise is getting cold feet, Darlene and Ben are sniping at each other, Becky and Mikey are doing it in the bathroom, Brian Austin Green is being a charming idiot, and Harris is dating a man we’re pretty sure is Kato Kaelin. We wish for a little more time for reflection for Dan and Louise, whose vows are interrupted by the slowest-moving tornado in history, and for some more Louise-centric scenes, while appreciating some consistent character dynamics and relationship reverberations from the original series through the present-day Conners. Meander with us through all this and additional discussion of Halloween, The L Word: Generation Q, the new Child’s Play series, and the homoerotic camp masterpiece Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!

S4 E3: Simple Pastor Energy

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In this episode, we catch up on The Conners season 4 episodes “Education, Corruption, and Damnation” and “Sober Sex, Plastic Silverware, and Losing My Religion” – and boy, are these some episodes! We’re reeling from Darlene’s pinball-style emotions, and we’re skeptical of her sudden interest in seeking counsel from a pastor, played by Jason Alexander with a soft southern accent and strong, presumably accidental whiff of untrustworthiness. (In short: he’s not giving Simple Pastor Energy, but rather George Costanza Energy.) We also cringe our way through Becky’s awkward tryst with her friend Mikey, and wonder how exactly this is going to help her on her sobriety journey. Join us as we ride the roller coaster of Conner family emotions and deal with our own complicated (mostly negative) feelings about pastors and other clergy. And stick around for tangents on the camp classic Sal Mineo film Who Killed Teddy Bear?, the new Brittany Murphy documentary, Nine Perfect Strangers, Scream 2 and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!

S4 E2: Thank You for Being a Conner!

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In this episode, we kick off The Conners fourth season with a recap of the gimmicky live episode “Trucking Live in Front of a Fully Vaccinated Studio Audience.” We ask the important questions, like, Why are the Conners obsessed with the word “trucking,” and does it have to do with Jackie’s big-rig experience? Why is Ben such a threatening hipster werewolf? Why is Brian Austin Green so charming? Does Louise REALLY want a fancy wedding cake? Why does Darlene care about the opinion of a psychic — and has the world gone mad? Needless to say, we’re not too thrilled about Darlene’s sudden interest in religion and spirituality, prompted by nothing more than the fact that Ben is an asshole and a psychic told her she had no “light.” We consider the Conners’ history with religion, and where the show might be going with this storyline. Join us for these debates plus forays into topics such as David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, Netflix’s Fear Street series, minor league baseball, and dim-witted assistant managers. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!

S4 E1: “Rosey” Knows Best

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We’re back! We’ve missed you, dear listeners, and we’re excited to embark on the FOURTH season of 714 Delaware St.! On this first episode, we take a deep dive into some Roseanne episodes from the series’ later run, when the show was somewhat preoccupied with referencing the “golden age” television sitcoms that Roseanne Barr and her contemporaries grew up on, like Father Knows Best, Leave it to Beaver, and Gilligan’s Island. We were inspired in part by the new dark comedy Kevin Can F*ck Himself, which similarly engages with the traditional family sitcom, and the biases and retrograde perspective baked into its formula. Throughout its run, Roseanne made a point of reveling in its own deviations from this formula while at the same time emphasizing its place in family sitcom history. This is especially evident in the episodes “All About Rosey: The Clip Show,” in which Roseanne meets a group of sitcom moms from the past; “Sherwood Schwartz: A Loving Tribute,” which revolves around a funny-but-bizarre Gilligan’s Island spoof; and The Fifties Show, which reimagines Roseanne as a Father Knows Best-style wholesome sitcom, with black-and-white format, cigarette commercials and all. We hope you’ll enjoy this academic and nostalgic trip into some truly weird Roseanne before we move on to the new season of The Conners – listen & subscribe!

S3 E13: You Don’t Have to Live in a Hardware Store (and other lessons)

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It’s the last episode of our third season, and we’re wrapping up The Conners season 3 as well, discussing “Jeopardé, Sobrieté, and Infidelité” and “Two Proposals, a Homecoming, and a Bear.” Big things are happening for the Conners, including one engagement, one thwarted proposal, a successful rehab stint, a return from Afghanistan, a Jeopardy loss turned into a gain, a budding tattoo career, and a whole lot of complaining from a certain hirsute someone about how he HAS TO LIVE IN A HARDWARE STORE. You’ve unrolled your own sleeping bag, Ben, and now you have to lie in it. (Except you don’t, though – get an apartment and stop your bitching!) We contemplate lessons learned (or not learned, ahem Darlene) by our favorite characters this season, and look ahead to what’s coming in season 4.

We share our joy about Dan moving on with Louise, though it does bring up some capital-F Feelings – mainly regarding how we miss Roseanne Conner and the warm center she brought to the family. We contemplate how The Conners has evolved without a matriarch while still remaining close to the strong POV of the original series, which was rooted in Roseanne Barr’s comedy.

Join us for this season 3 wrap up before our summer hiatus. And don’t worry, dear listeners – we’ll be back and better than ever for season 4! Thank you for watching with us!

S3 Ep 12: Blue Blockers

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We’re talking here about the 17th and 18th episodes of season 3 of the Conners (“Regrets, Rehabs, and Realtors” and “Cheating, Revelations, and a Box of Doll Heads,” respectively). We are struck by the serious, emotional moments in these episodes. Becky’s struggle with alcoholism and her trip to Jewish rehab (an infinitely awkward plot point), in particular, brings us to reckon with the elder Mark’s death, Dan’s anger, and Becky’s regrets about her life choices. This also brings up powerful memories for Jackie, who reminds Becky about the family legacy of alcoholism, connecting with the original series storyline about Roseanne and Jackie reckoning with their father’s violence and alcoholism.

We very much take sides with Darlene about her desire to use the Hawaii tickets, rather than sell them. Brian Austin Green, on a field trip out of Beverly Hills, also agrees. Ben is such a stick in the mud, and his mother, Barb (welcome back, Candace Bergen) is a presumptuous maniac, as she confronts Dan about getting help with the mortgage from his kids, effectively keeping her son from happiness. We note the middle-class moral framework embedded in Barb’s perception of familial mutual aid as exploitation. All of this leads Darlene to question whether she and Ben really want the same things.

All the while, Mark looks amazing in his Peter Bogdanovich-style blue blockers. Sadly, these specs reflect Darlene’s clumsy effort to help Mark cheat on a Zoom exam in a bit of added political commentary about class privilege and education. Of course, we spiral about Operation Varsity Blues, scholarships for surprising college sports (sailing?!), and motivational posters.

We top the discussion with a reflection on the reconciliation of JLo and Ben Affleck, aka Bennifer 2.0. Our viewing roundup explores the joy of entering the time capsule of 1970s and 80s New York in the Sons of Sam docuseries, as well as Designing Women alumna Jean Smart’s re-entrance into TV consciousness in the new show Hacks.

S3 E11: Good Golly, Miss Molly

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Join us for our latest installment, in which we discuss two recent episodes of The Conners, “An Old Dog, New Tricks and a Ticket to Ride,” and “A Fast Car, a Sudden Loss and a Slow Decline.” These episodes serve up a major dose of nostalgia in the form of Molly Tilden (played by Danielle Harris, she of the coveted ’90s mall bangs and child-star ubiquity who grew up to become “the Natalie Portman of horror,” according to an unverified Wikipedia quote). We follow these episodes’ two main storylines — one involving Darlene and Molly, the other Becky’s struggle with alcohol — dipping into some classic season 5 Roseanne memories along the way. We lament narrative inconsistencies (where is CHARLOTTE), Molly’s quick exit, and Ben’s lack of compassion while reveling in the chemistry between Molly and Darlene as they forge an unlikely friendship fueled by a night at the biergarten. Throw back a few Warsteiners with us as we chat about all of these FEELINGS plus Superstore, our love of Kids in the Hall and what makes movies about incest so damned compelling. Listen & subscribe on Apple podcasts!

S3 E10: Bad Omens and Baywatch Nights

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Herein we talk about the Conners as though they are real people once again. We return to Lanford to discover that Louise has COVID! As the family put together a Covid care package for her, we get a chuckle out of their collection of late Blockbuster DVDs. Darlene’s confession about visiting the indoor hotel pool to relax throws us for a loop. We doubt that such a humid mildew party would be very relaxing. Jackie confronts a bad Yelp reviewer at a beer garden, and Neville gets stern about her domineering behavior. We question Conner family counsel, as Jackie and Darlene advise Becky to lie to an old friend. We laugh at well-placed Henry David Thoreau jokes, complain about unrealistic plot points, such as the notion that the Conners would have a can of tuna on the verge of expiring. That’s not a thing! Oh, but Dan’s new camper is so cute– did he inherit it from Arnie? Did Arnie die? Can we know what’s up with Arnie? There’s more bad Conner-munication, as Dan demands to be Ben’s partner at the hardware store, and the two men with Daddy Issues square off over their pride.

S3 E9: The Anxiety Years

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In our latest episode, we do our best to catch up with The Conners by discussing “Panic Attacks, Hardware Store and Big Mouth Billy Bass” and “A Stomach Ache, A Heartbreak and a Grave Mistake.” We delve into the show’s realistic depiction of Darlene’s anxiety (featuring Dr. Fred Savage to the rescue!) as well as our own anxiety (Zoom-related and not), imposter syndrome and its relationship to class and gender. We also analyze Ben’s frustrating white-dude hubris, his relationship with Dan, and Jay R. Ferguson’s talent (he DID graduate from Evening Shade University). We also revel in the second episode’s Roseanne-centric plotline, featuring our beloved Patton Oswalt and a fun subplot involving Becky, Harris, Fatal Attraction, and coffee-table books. Join us for all this plus some extra nonsense about massages, furniture-store props, and fake maple syrup.