Special Summer Episode: Mall Madness

714 Delaware St.

Greetings, friends! We hope you’ll enjoy our special summer episode “Mall Madness,” in which we discuss the classic Roseanne season 1 episode “Mall Story.” The Conners, Jackie and Crystal are heading to the mall for a big sale—Dan needs shoes, Becky needs a dress, Crystal needs “taaaahhhhls,” and Jackie needs to admire the pecs on some storefront fitness guru. Laugh along with us at this silly episode’s absurd dialogue, and remember the days when you could not only leave your house and be near other humans, but you could spend hours wandering around one of America’s suburban retail meccas in your coolest jean jacket! Join us as we grab an Orange Julius, try on some synthetic party clothes at DEB, pick up some cassingles at Sam Goody, and check out the dirty novelties in the back of Spencer’s Gifts. Yep, we’re here to talk malls, malls, and nothing but malls, including other mall episodes of such programs as Designing Women, The Nanny, Stranger Things, and Daria, and our own favorite mall memories.

S2 E18: The House at 714 Delaware Street

714 Delaware St.

Join us as we wrap up our discussion of season 2 of the Conners! In this episode, we discuss The Conners season 2 finale, “Bridge over Troubled Conners,” in which the Conner home is at risk of foreclosure, meaning hard times for Dan and tough decisions for Darlene and Ben. We explore our own love for the Conner house, the memories we hold there and the lived-in feel of the set, as well as our memories of our own family homes. Other topics include Becky and Emilio’s storyline and this episode’s excellent guest stars—David Pasquesi (aka “Stew the Meat Man” from Strangers with Candy) and Joel Murray (aka sad-sack Freddy Rumsen from Mad Men). We evaluate season 2 as a whole and express our wishes for season 3, as well as carry on far too long on such issues as laughter on TV shows, Sebastian Bach’s compelling turn on Gilmore Girls, David Healy’s potential future as a crazy cat lady, and our desire to spend more time among birds.

We hope you’ll tune in…and stay tuned as we look back to classic Roseanne for our summer episodes!

S2 Episode 12: Loving Throuples, Missing Crystal

714 Delaware St.

In our latest episode, we recap the Conners season 2, episode 14, “Bad Dads and Grads,” in which Darlene and Ben ponder having a baby (or he forces her to ponder, depending on your perspective), Jackie ponders joining guest stars Jennifer Grey and Clark Gregg in a throuple, and Dan works through his anger toward his late father and reconnects with Ed Jr. (“little Ed”), his father’s son with Crystal. We express skepticism about Darlene and Ben’s baby-making haste and complete enthusiasm for Jackie’s potential new lease on love, but focus mainly on Dan, looking back at the two-part classic episode from Roseanne season 3, “The Courtship of Eddie, Dan’s Father”/”The Wedding,” which tells the story of Ed Sr.’s marriage to Crystal and her pregnancy. We parse inconsistencies in the storyline from then to now, and wonder why Crystal (our beloved Natalie West) can’t come back and clear up this mess. As always, we also indulge in some tangential discussions — of our favorite Leap Day TV episodes, the creepy genius of Flowers in the Attic, and our love of sweaters (plus, you won’t want to miss Katherine’s rendition of John Denver’s “Rocky Mountain High”). Join us!

S2 Episode 10: Girlfriends, College Costs, and the Artist Formerly Known as Jackie

714 Delaware St.

We’re back with another installment chatting about season two of The Conners! Join us as we discuss the latest episode, “Mud Turtles, a Good Steak, and One Man in a Tub” (a lengthy title which we’ve matched with one of our own), in which a storyline about Harris’s college prospects and the daunting cost of tuition brings us back to Roseanne’s roots in its mostly sharp commentary on socioeconomic issues. Plus, we celebrate Jackie’s new friendship with Cheryl Hines as Dawn (who starts out seeming like a “gal-pal” but ends up a mere girlfriend), and her unexpected artistic talent, which reveals itself in a “wine and painting” class. Finally, we mull over Louise’s ultimatum to Dan, and consider how nice it would be if her band would just play on the show with David Crosby, already. Stick around too for our tangents on Black Mirror, Quantum Leap, student loan debt, and Katherine’s (amazing) bigfoot-related artwork.

S2, Episode 8: Have Yourself a Moldy, Jobless Christmas

On our latest episode, we recap 2019’s final installments of the Conners, “Lanford, Toilet of Sin” and “Smoking Penguins and Santa-on-Santa Action,” analyzing Jackie’s inner struggle over the fate of the Lunchbox, Darlene’s job and daughter woes, the triumphant return (sort of) of the sexily tousled Jay R. Ferguson as Ben, and the family’s strange new tradition of wearing Santa suits to the mall. We delight in appearances from Paul Reubens (aka Sandy Buttinsky aka Pee-Wee) and “zombie Bev”, shake our canes at that ungrateful whipper-snapper Harris, and share our thoughts on subjects ranging from Gumby to mice to dumpster-diving to what exactly they put inside an Orange Julius. Tune in – and happy holidays!

S2, Episode 6: Stew of a Kind

In the sixth episode of our second season, “Stew of a Kind,” we discuss the latest Conners episode, “Tempest in a Stew Pot,” which finds Becky and Jackie plotting to open a new restaurant in the old Lanford Lunchbox — one that, improbably, serves only stew. Darlene, who holds the keys to their dreams in the form of power of attorney, rejects their idea, leading to a rift that sends Becky packing and on her way to Jackie’s house. We look deeper into Jackie and Becky’s close relationship over the years, analyzing a season 3 Roseanne classic, “Becky Doesn’t Live Here Anymore,” in which Becky goes to stay with the single-and-swingin’ Jackie while fighting with her parents over Mark. We explore Darlene’s evolution from a mature child to the Conners matriarch, who in some ways has taken Roseanne’s place — at Jackie’s expense. Come for the analysis and stay for our tangents, from the story of Katherine’s first tattoo (it involves a toilet, an ex-con and a guitar string), Maura’s brush with Elton John, restaurants that are too specific and why no one under 40 listens to Pearl Jam. Join us!

Episode 25: Just Me & My Ganja

714 Delaware St.

Join us for our last episode of the summer as we discuss a *Very Special Episode* of the highest order: Season 6 episode “A Stash from the Past,” in which Roseanne, Dan & Jackie find some old weed in a drawer…and hijinks, sadness, paranoia, and pudding-pop-eating ensue. Not only is this a start-to-finish hilarious episode about aging and responsibility (named one of the best-ever episodes of television by TV Guide, an infallible publication), but it gives us an excuse to discuss marijuana moms, our favorite Drug-Free America commercials, Katherine’s amazing teenage drug experiences, Greg Brady’s weed habit, and memorable drug-related episodes of Diff’rent Strokes, Freaks and Geeks, Strangers with Candy, and Beverly Hills, 90210. As Jackie so succinctly puts it: “There’s a reason they call it ‘dope.'”

Episode 21: Feel the Bernhard!

714 Delaware St.

On the latest 714 Delaware St., we’re talking about one of our favorite Roseanne supporting players: the one and only Sandra Bernhard! We gush over Ms. Bernhard’s unconventional career and incomparable mien, from her turn as the desperate-and-deluded Masha in Martin Scorsese’s The King of Comedy (1983) to her one-woman show Without You I’m Nothing (1990) to her regular appearances on Letterman. Katherine reports on seeing Sandra live twice (plus meeting her for a photo op), and we dig deep into her Roseanne character, the charmingly self-centered Nancy Bartlett. We discuss the season 4 “Vegas” episodes, in which she impulsively marries Arnie (Tom Arnold), as well as season 5’s “Ladies Choice,” in which they’re already broken up and she announces she’s dating Marla (Morgan Fairchild), whom she met at Rodbell’s makeup counter. Join us as we celebrate this hilarious—and to us, frankly inspirational—actress and comedian, without whom we can’t imagine Roseanne in its later seasons.

Episode 17: Paper Hearts & Teddies

714 Delaware St.

In this belated Valentine’s episode, Maura & Katherine explain the unexpected personal crises that kept them away from the podcast for a few weeks, and celebrate the fact that we’re back to discussing classic TV! We look at Roseanne’s only Valentine’s Day episode from season 3, in which Darlene has a crush on a boy improbably named “Barry” and Dan has a fear of full-figured lingerie. We also discuss other Valentine’s favorites from ’90s shows The Wonder Years, The Adventures of Pete & Pete, and Frasier, and our own feelings of childhood anxiety and adult apathy toward the holiday. Bonus discussions include our wholehearted love of Leon (played by Martin Mull), our confusion about a certain type of lingerie (it may or may not be THE TEDDY), and the indisputable fact that Tobey Maguire shares a face with K.D. Lang. We hope you’ll join us for a little candy-heart-themed nostalgia-fest!

Episode 14: Health Care is All the Rage!

714 Delaware St.

Hey, it’s our first episode of 2019! In this episode, we talk about the most recent episode of The Conners (natch!), “Rage Against the Machine,” in which Dan is injured by a vending machine that falls on him covering DJ’s shift at work. We have some questions about how it all works: How is it that Dan can take a shift at a company he doesn’t work for? Why does Dan believe he can reason with management? Why does Darlene of all people hire a personal injury lawyer from an ad at the gas pump? How come Peter Gallagher is so great? We also discuss the slut-shaming of Becky by the bosses at La Casita Bonita, who force her to take a sexual harassment training to stop her from flirting all the time. WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?! Jackie at work as a life coach is a true delight, but we wonder why we haven’t met her rival yet. Maura guesses it will be Valerie Bertinelli; that would be something ELSE!

Finally, we note the strong similarities between this episode and the Season 2 episode of the original series, “Fender Bender,” in which Roseanne suffers pretty severe whiplash after being rear-ended by her former factory boss and hair salon client, the insufferably thoughtless Meg Wellman. Universal health care, we ultimately determine, is one answer to the conundrum these episodes present.