S4 E9: Darlene’s Dilemma

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In our latest episode, we discuss The Conners S4 E11, “Patriarch’s and Goddesses,” a great hangout episode which features the one and only JOE WALSH of The Eagles (as Aldo’s dad). We revel in this old-school storyline that features Walsh’s character drinking beer with Dan, mooching, rambling, and ultimately jamming (with John Goodman on harmonica) over the closing credits. Just like the old days! (Spoiler alert: Katherine admits she likes the f-ckin’ Eagles.) We also enjoy this episode’s thoughtful Darlene storyline, in which she’s unable to handle Ben’s new lady-friend and must grapple with her difficulties in making the relationship work. This caused us to look back to a Darlene-centric episode from the original series, “Daughters and Other Strangers,” in which Darlene once again puts up a tough front to hide the fact that she’s scared to go to art school without David.

Join us for this Darlene deep-dive plus our thoughts on the following: natural deodorant, patchouli, and memories; what makes a good ’80s night; why Pat Benetar is always on the radio constantly all the time; the white wine age-cheapness continuum; and why Ghost World is our fave. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!

S4 E8: Don’t Go Chasin’ Waterbeds

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In our new episode, we discuss The Conners “Three Exes, Role Playing and A Waterbed” and “Spills, Pills and The Midnight Lasagna” — but first, we have to get down to business re: our sadness over the recent passing of so many icons of television, music and film, particularly Betty White and Ronnie Spector (little-known fact: Ronnie sang the theme song to Roseanne Barr’s short-lived cartoon show Little Rosey!). We also dig into all the great stuff we’ve been watching over the holidays, namely Yellowjackets and The Beatles: Get Back. We’re head over heels for these shows and we’ll shout it from the rooftops!

But we’re also enjoying The Conners, especially these two zippy episodes that seem, frankly, inspired by our podcast, from the waterbed storyline and very familiar comforter (The Conners, WHY ARE YOU STEALING OUR MEMORIES) to Darlene’s decision to call it quits with the man we have taken to calling Fake Fred Savage. As usual, we enjoy dissecting Darlene’s relationship woes, praising Jay R. Ferguson’s hair, and sinking our teeth into some excellent storylines involving Jackie and Neville and Mark’s Saved by the Bell-esque obsession with pills (he’s so excited…he’s so…scared!). Flop down on your Big Sur waterbed and sail away with us! Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts.

S4 E7: Holiday Tidings & Heavy Furniture

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We’re dropping one final episode before the holidays! Join us for a discussion of The Conners episode “Yard Sale, Phone Fail, And a College Betrayal” in which Dan finds it hard to part with his and Roseanne’s old bedroom set from Montgomery Ward. We saw fit to pair this with a hidden gem from Roseanne season 1, “Canoga Time,” a fun and cozy episode in which Dan and Roseanne try to part with some of their beloved old kitsch in service of a rummage sale. We consider the connections between these two episodes and the meaning that kitsch objects and furniture seem to hold in both Roseanne and The Conners, and we also have fun diving into these episodes’ b-plots — from Jackie and Booker (George Clooney!) to Darlene and her new beau who, according to Katherine, has the personality of “a styrofoam cup.”

As usual, we can’t help to branch out to other topics, and begin with an in-depth discussion of the Hallmark/Lifetime/Netflix holiday movie-making machine, including takes on new films Love Hard and Single All the Way as well as favorites Snowglobe with Christina Milian (2007), The Christmas Setup with Fran Drescher (2020), and the elusive Shannen Doherty pumpkin fable Growing the Big One (2010). Happy holidays to our listeners!

S4 E6: Mothers and Daughters and Birth Control Pills

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In our latest, we discuss The Conners episode “Let’s All Push Our Hands Together for the Stew Train and The Conners’ Furniture” (ugh, that title!) in tandem with one of Roseanne‘s most memorable Very Special Episodes, “A Bitter Pill to Swallow,” in which Becky asks Roseanne to help her get birth control pills. We take a close look at Darlene and Harris’s fraught relationship and how they might be able to mend it after years of choosing control and defiance over mutual understanding and compassion. We compare Darlene’s parenting with Roseanne and Dan’s strategies (with Jackie’s help) in navigating Becky’s choice to have a sexual relationship with Mark and, above all, take responsibility for her life and health. We also can’t help but tie the conversation around birth control and women’s choices in these episodes to the threats currently facing abortion rights in this country. Join us as we dig deep into these mother-daughter dynamics and issues of women’s agency, plus discussion of Designing Women, Murder, She Wrote, and our dislike of fake Fred Savages.

S4 E4: Lanford Bridal

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It’s the big day for Dan and Louise — the first official wedding on The Conners in the episode “The Wedding of Dan and Louise”! We analyze this episode’s frenzied path to the altar and discuss its relationship with the two most momentous Roseanne original series wedding episodes, “Altar Egos” (Jackie + Fred’s) and “The Wedding” (David + Darlene). As usual, there’s a whole lot happening on the The Conners — Louise is getting cold feet, Darlene and Ben are sniping at each other, Becky and Mikey are doing it in the bathroom, Brian Austin Green is being a charming idiot, and Harris is dating a man we’re pretty sure is Kato Kaelin. We wish for a little more time for reflection for Dan and Louise, whose vows are interrupted by the slowest-moving tornado in history, and for some more Louise-centric scenes, while appreciating some consistent character dynamics and relationship reverberations from the original series through the present-day Conners. Meander with us through all this and additional discussion of Halloween, The L Word: Generation Q, the new Child’s Play series, and the homoerotic camp masterpiece Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!

S4 E3: Simple Pastor Energy

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In this episode, we catch up on The Conners season 4 episodes “Education, Corruption, and Damnation” and “Sober Sex, Plastic Silverware, and Losing My Religion” – and boy, are these some episodes! We’re reeling from Darlene’s pinball-style emotions, and we’re skeptical of her sudden interest in seeking counsel from a pastor, played by Jason Alexander with a soft southern accent and strong, presumably accidental whiff of untrustworthiness. (In short: he’s not giving Simple Pastor Energy, but rather George Costanza Energy.) We also cringe our way through Becky’s awkward tryst with her friend Mikey, and wonder how exactly this is going to help her on her sobriety journey. Join us as we ride the roller coaster of Conner family emotions and deal with our own complicated (mostly negative) feelings about pastors and other clergy. And stick around for tangents on the camp classic Sal Mineo film Who Killed Teddy Bear?, the new Brittany Murphy documentary, Nine Perfect Strangers, Scream 2 and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!

S4 E2: Thank You for Being a Conner!

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In this episode, we kick off The Conners fourth season with a recap of the gimmicky live episode “Trucking Live in Front of a Fully Vaccinated Studio Audience.” We ask the important questions, like, Why are the Conners obsessed with the word “trucking,” and does it have to do with Jackie’s big-rig experience? Why is Ben such a threatening hipster werewolf? Why is Brian Austin Green so charming? Does Louise REALLY want a fancy wedding cake? Why does Darlene care about the opinion of a psychic — and has the world gone mad? Needless to say, we’re not too thrilled about Darlene’s sudden interest in religion and spirituality, prompted by nothing more than the fact that Ben is an asshole and a psychic told her she had no “light.” We consider the Conners’ history with religion, and where the show might be going with this storyline. Join us for these debates plus forays into topics such as David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, Netflix’s Fear Street series, minor league baseball, and dim-witted assistant managers. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!

S3 E11: Good Golly, Miss Molly

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Join us for our latest installment, in which we discuss two recent episodes of The Conners, “An Old Dog, New Tricks and a Ticket to Ride,” and “A Fast Car, a Sudden Loss and a Slow Decline.” These episodes serve up a major dose of nostalgia in the form of Molly Tilden (played by Danielle Harris, she of the coveted ’90s mall bangs and child-star ubiquity who grew up to become “the Natalie Portman of horror,” according to an unverified Wikipedia quote). We follow these episodes’ two main storylines — one involving Darlene and Molly, the other Becky’s struggle with alcohol — dipping into some classic season 5 Roseanne memories along the way. We lament narrative inconsistencies (where is CHARLOTTE), Molly’s quick exit, and Ben’s lack of compassion while reveling in the chemistry between Molly and Darlene as they forge an unlikely friendship fueled by a night at the biergarten. Throw back a few Warsteiners with us as we chat about all of these FEELINGS plus Superstore, our love of Kids in the Hall and what makes movies about incest so damned compelling. Listen & subscribe on Apple podcasts!

S3 E6: The Conner Family Money-Making Death Machine

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In our sixth installment of the season, we recap The Conners, “Drug Test, Protest, and One Leaves the Nest,” in which Harris joins an Occupy Wall Street-style protest while somehow managing to remain ignorant of pretty much everything about economic inequality in America, capitalism, solidarity and how to take a principled stand for something you believe in. We analyze it in tandem with a related episode from the original series, classic season 5 episode “Lanford Daze,” in which Darlene herself launches a memorable protest against the “meat-industrial complex” — in this case represented by her family’s own Lanford Lunch Box. We consider Darlene’s youthful shenanigans in tandem with Harris’s, noting the differences in their approach, understanding of issues and cultural context. We also parse the Conners episode’s second plot line relating to drug testing at Wellman and Robin’s (Alexandra Billings) revelation that she is trans, which leads to a discussion of anti-trans sentiment in popular culture (especially in the 1990s). Join us for these observations, plus more on Loretta Lynn, bad fashion of the early oughts, and what we’ve been watching, including the new film Ammonite and the mid-2010s BBC teen show My Mad Fat Diary. Hoooo doggies, we love these sandwiches!

S3 E4: We’re in Mask Hell (and Other Complaints)

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Join us for a little Andy Rooney-style, “get off my lawn” crankiness as we catch up on the recent Conners episodes “Birthdays, Babies and Emotional Support Chickens” and “Friends in High Places and Horse Surgery.” First of all, we love the Conners, we really do — but we’ve got to talk about their appalling pandemic etiquette, from their chin-masking to their indoor-gathering to their ball-pit-renting. We also critique the often overstuffed, rushed nature of The Conners, parsing numerous fast-tracked plot elements, including a spontaneous baptism and Darlene’s sudden interest in middle management. What happened to the days when an entire Roseanne episode could revolve around a simple fart? Or a teenaged boss? Or a decision to become a trucker?

But look, it’s not all complaining — there’s some good vibes here, too, we promise! We’ve got praise for guest actress Alexandra Billings and adorable Emilio, plus lively tangential discussions of Hulu’s new Christmas rom-com (that is not very rom, actually) Happiest Season and Maura’s fond memories of seeing Ricky Martin on Broadway. Listen and subscribe on iTunes!