All Episodes

In our second season 2 episode, we discuss the premiere season 2 episode of The Conners, “Preemies, Weed & Infidelity,” as well as its sister episode (pun intended) of the original Roseanne series, “The Miracle.” We analyze Becky’s pregnancy/labor storyline and its parallels with Darlene’s experience giving birth to Harris, as well as the side plots of Darlene’s love triangle (involving a certain sensitive, curly-haired Trader Joe’s employee!) and Harris’s latest transgression. As usual, we ask the important questions, such as how does Estelle Parsons never age? Could DJ’s hair BE any fuller and more lustrous? Why did they cast the baby from Eraserhead? And WHAT THE F%CK happened to Jackie’s son? (We’re going to keep asking until somebody tells us.) Join us!

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In our latest episode, we pay homage to another of our favorites of the original series. We agree that Roseanne really meets her match when she meets the uptight, all-bark-and-no-bite Leon Carp, played by Martin Mull, when he comes to manage the diner at our beloved Rodbell’s. From Season 3 to Season 9 of the original series, we learn a lot about the world according to Carp. We talk about several of the best Leon episodes and moments, and Martin Mull’s amazing television career, including Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Arrested Development(AHHHHHHHH! GENE!!), as well as a number of classic 1980s commercials in which he appeared— for some surprising products. We find so much to love and be irritated by in the world’s best shitty boss and probably television’s first regular gay republican character. Where does Leon come from? Why is he the way he is? Why is Martin Mull’s mustache so majestic? We spend extra time discussing the Season 8 episode, “December Bride,” in which Leon ties the knot with his boyfriend Scott, played by the great Fred Willard (WHO ELSE?). What a bizarre, important TV moment! We hope you enjoy eavesdropping on our chat! 

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Poor DJ. He’s got it pretty rough, being perpetually eclipsed by the personalities of his two older sisters. Here and there, though, he gets a chance to really express himself. In this episode, we discuss DJ’s most creative outburst—when he got “caught playing with his instrument in band,” as Darlene put it. We think you know what we’re talking about. In the original series episode, “Homeward Bound,” DJ made an explosive discovery about his own body! Okay, okay, we’re talking about DJ’s discovery of self-pleasure. We talk about how few TV shows have grappled with masturbation, and why what might be. While Seinfeld may have acknowledged that we all like to spend quality time getting to know ourselves, and Roseanne assured us that all we really need is a lock on the door and some Montgomery Wards catalogs, neither seems to have greased the wheels for a renaissance of sitcom episodes about, you know…THAT. Later, in “The Parenting Trap,” puberty strikes again when DJ’s instrument plays itself in math class. Erections, masturbation, and periods are what this episode is ALL about! Thanks for coming; we came, too!

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We were going to title this episode “The Lesbian Kiss Episode,” but that struck us as a bit too formal. In fact, “Lesbian Kiss Episode,” is a TV term for a phenomenon that hit its stride in the ’90s: it’s that very special episode that airs during sweeps, featuring a guest star that comes along to lock lady lips with a series frontrunner, just to disappear back into the ether. THERE IS A WIKIPEDIA PAGE, okayyyy? Too many shows have done it for us to cover ALL of them, but one did it in a somewhat unique way. Guess which! Yes, it WAS Roseanne. Here, we talk about about the time Rosie gets a smooch from Nancy’s girlfriend (or “gal pal,” in ’90s speak), the inimitable gay-for-pay Mariel Hemingway. This original series episode is titled “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” and though it has nothing to do with gays in the military, it did air very shortly after President Clinton signed the policy disaster of the same name. We touch on a few other highlights of this TV phenomenon, from Picket Fences to Star Trek Deep Space Nine. Slap on a fresh layer of chapstick and lean in closer, won’t you?

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In this episode, we lament the ghastly unfair process of filing taxes while poor, by way of one of our favorite Roseanne original series episodes, entitled “April Fool’s Day.” We discuss who is most likely to be audited, and how fun it is to live vicariously through TV characters who really give the meanies at the IRS what-for. From Roseanne Conner’s Norma Rae moments, Dick’s tax meltdown on 3^rd Rock from the Sun, and the Golden Girls’ unfortunate encounters with auditors and homophobic writers, we work through the hardest day of the economic year with a few giggles and a lot of angst. You’ll notice a third commentator in the background for several minutes—that’s Katherine’s dog, Orlando, celebrating the onset of spring. We beg your pardon for the extra noise, but we love this conversation too much to toss it out!

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In the latest installment of 714 Delaware St., we deep-dive into the straight-up CLASSIC season 2 Roseanne episode “Brain-Dead Poets Society,” penned by a young Joss Whedon, in which Darlene Conner writes a poem that she must present at her school “Culture Night.” This episode marks a pivotal moment for the character of Darlene, revealing hidden depths and impacting her relationship with Roseanne. Additionally, we take a look at memorable poetry scenes in other television and film, namely My So-Called Life, The Simpsons, Seinfeld and 10 Things I Hate About You.

We also make time to share our thoughts on other subjects, from abortion plot lines on television to Candace Cameron Bure’s 1996 TV movie Freshman Fall (She Cried No) to Don Henley’s 1984 masterpiece “The Boys of Summer.” Join us!

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