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S6 E5: Mysteries of Crystal, Cringe, and Pineapple Upside-Down Cake

In our latest, we discuss The Conners, “When Sisters Collide and the Return of the Grifter” and “Hanging in Dorms with Boys and the Secret Life of Men,” the first of which most notably features the triumphant-yet-brief return of our beloved Crystal (Natalie West), friend of Roseanne and Jackie and second wife of Dan’s father, Ed. Crystal appears amid another dispute between Dan and Neville over money, through which they eventually bond over daddy issues. We are interested in Crystal’s negative characterization of her relationship with Ed, and curious about her potentially distant relationship with Jackie. More Crystal, please! We also revisit a common Conners thread: tension between Darlene and Becky, as a fight over who’s smarter leads Darlene down a cringeworthy path to Mark’s favorite college-kid trivia night. Darlene, why are you SO embarrassing?

In the latter episode, the ever-charming Sean Astin returns as Becky’s beau Tyler – and things are getting serious! Darlene wants Ben to make more guy friends, and he and Tyler form an awkward acquaintance-ship that involves hiding out at Neville’s veterinary hospital, petting and singing to sick animals. Also, Harris is hanging around Mark’s dorm room too much and even though the boys love her, it’s WEIRD. Is Harris destined to become as embarrassing as Darlene? Say it ain’t so!

Tune in for discussion of all this as well as Maura’s strange tale of a ghostly pineapple upside-down cake, Katherine’s experience with puppy yoga, Girls 5Eva, Carol and the End of the World, The Summer I Turned Pretty, male strip clubs and what makes for good trivia. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!

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S6 E4: 1 Tearful Adieu and 3 Terrible Ideas

In our latest, we discuss two somewhat strange Conners episodes, “Moms and Rats” and “Shrinks Don’t Talk and Kids Don’t Sing.” In “Moms and Rats,” we deal with the fallout from Jackie’s dumbass credit card fraud scheme (terrible idea #1). And in light of her tearful trainside goodbye with Bev, we wonder if in fact we are saying goodbye to our favorite nonagenarian for good – say it ain’t so! In the latter episode, Mark is bummed about being a lonely college commuter, but Darlene’s response, and the show’s tenuous-at-best grasp of how college works, are truly vexing. Are there solutions that could have been tried BEFORE Darlene decided to get Mark a job as a student custodian (terrible idea #2), complete with blue jumpsuit? Yes, many. The bottom line is, Darlene is cramping Mark’s growth and independence. Will the show reckon with this, or will she continue ruining Mark’s life unabated? Meanwhile, Louise is teaching music at Beverly Rose’s school and becomes embroiled in a culture war, which leads to Becky cosplaying Say Anything with a cube-shaped boombox, and Louise deciding to run for school board (terrible idea #3). Well Conners, at least you’re not boring!

In addition to mulling these new developments, we revel in the episodes’ offbeat humor, consider Becky’s potentially Old America-inspired taste in decor, and follow digressions on Maura’s suspended Facebook profile, Rosemary’s Baby, the Pittsburgh “butthole window,” Costco, and Mrs. Claus’s hairstyle. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!

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S6 E3 Bev, Bitterness & Beyond

The Conners season 6 is here, and we’re diving in (albeit a little bit late) with the first two episodes, “The Publisher Cops Show Pilot” and “Valentine’s Day Treats and Credit Card Cheats”! In the first episode, we find the Lunch Box receiving the “Restaurant Rescue” treatment with special guest star Nick Offerman, and though we support anything to keep the restaurant going, we wonder if it’s all a bit abrupt. Does Harris really want to run the place? Will she have what it takes to keep it afloat? We consider emotional weight of the Lunch Box and its meaning in Conner family history, as both a connection to Roseanne and a reminder of a time at which Jackie felt truly successful and stable. We also explore familiar territory with the latest installment of the Emotional Roller Coaster of Darlene Conner, who wears her career choice to be a lunch lady with a very-Roseanne-Conner mix of defiant pride and bitterness.

In the second episode, we get to see our favorite nonagenarian – Bev Harris, played by the great Estelle Parsons! But Jackie’s making poor decisions again, parlaying a round of irresponsible spending from Bev into an extremely ill-conceived fraud scheme. The episode leaves us hanging, and we’re truly concerned – is Jackie going to go to prison? Will she be working on a chain gang before the season is out? Only time will tell.

Join us for all this plus more on our enjoyment of the show’s crude jokes, Dan and Darlene’s VERY embarrassing game of “Kiss, Marry, Kill,” Jon Stewart, Russian Doll, Ortega brand Mexican food products, and The Monkees. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!

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S6 E2: The Case of the Disappearing Baby

We’re back, listeners – for real this time! Ahead of next month’s premiere of season 6 of The Conners, we’re looking at two episodes from Roseanne‘s later seasons that focus on a plot point that’s been bugging us throughout the run of this podcast: Jackie and Fred’s child, Andy. The Conners has wiped Andy from existence for reasons unknown, but a look at season 7 episode “Nine Is Enough” and season 8 episode “Let Them Eat Junk” demonstrates Jackie’s once all-consuming, unhinged and obsessive love for her now-disappeared baby. In “Nine Is Enough,” a hilarious episode that revolves around the Conners’ overcrowded house (and Dan shaving his armpits and being weird about it), Jackie’s overprotective, controlling attitude surrounding the baby has put a wall between her and Fred that never really seems to come down. In “Let Them Eat Junk,” this same parenting approach causes problems between Jackie and Roseanne, who violates Jackie’s “no junk food” rule, resulting in some soul-searching for Roseanne regarding her relationship to food, as passed down by Bev. We discuss how high-strung Jackie is in these two episodes, and how much more in line this late-Roseanne characterization is with the way she is depicted on The Conners, albeit without the presence of Andy. We also have some fun with Bev and a lively discussion of the differences between Sarah Chalke-Becky and Lecy-Becky.

Join us for all this plus digressions on Willem Dafoe (his charm and small stature). Beef, The Bear, our hatred for Incubus, May December, Loudermilk, the terrifying 1845 children’s book Struwwelpeter, Frog and Toad, and Cher’s Christmas song. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!

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S6 E1: Chicken & Rodbell’s

Greetings, long-lost listeners – we’re back for season 6! Though the SAG-AFTRA strike continues and The Conners is indefinitely on hold (and we support the striking actors – give them what they deserve, ya greedy bastards!), we’re starting slow this season with some relevant Roseanne reflections. In the spirit of the summer of labor, we take a look at two deeper cuts from the original series that deal with job woes: “Chicken Hearts” (season 2) and “Like, A New Job” (season 3). The first of the two revolves around Roseanne’s employment at a degrading fast-food chicken joint where she has a total American Psycho of a teenage boss; the second, which takes place in our favorite-ever-fake-restaurant Rodbell’s, depicts Roseanne’s struggle to cede control at home to Dan while working long hours. We discuss the theme that dominates these episodes – the struggle of raising a family while working menial jobs that don’t even treat you like a human being – and we also consider Roseanne’s tendency to vilify middle management types as stand-ins for corporate America or government.

Join us for this discussion plus digressions on What We Did On Our Summer Vacation, Becky’s Fabio hair, Darlene’s “big butt” jokes, wooden console TVs, and smoking on TV. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!

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S5 E12: Finale Feelings

In our latest episode, we finish out season 5 of The Conners, discussing three Mark-related episodes: “What’s So Funny Bout Peas, Love and Understanding,” “Dating, Drinking and Grifter Logic,” and “The Grad Finale.” As Mark graduates from high school, we consider his role in the family as the one expected to achieve a type of conventional success no Conner has: attend a 4-year college and graduate. We’re dubious about Darlene’s decision to work in the college cafeteria in order to get a break on tuition, but it squares with her desire to give Mark the kinds of advantages she never had. We’re excited for Mark, and we DO hope he majors in the humanities (ahem, BEN)! We ruminate on a few other storylines — Dan and Neville’s conflict over money, Sean Astin as Becky’s new beau, Mark’s overbearing suitor James — before coming to perhaps this group of episodes’ most significant plot point: Mark’s non-relationship with his father, David. We air our confusion and frustration over the direction The Conners has taken David’s character — to full deadbeat dad territory — when we have such residual fondness for David Healy, and we discuss Mark’s rollercoaster of emotions when it comes to his dad and his stepdad.

Join us for these discussions plus digressions on Katherine’s recent experience in the Hamptons, Jaclyn Smith for Kmart, sweatpants, cocktails, and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!

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S5 E11: Big Rigs, Bodysuits, and the Rock-afire Explosion

We’re winding down season 5 of The Conners on our latest episode, discussing “Road Trip and Guilt Trip” and “Text Thread and the Marital Bed.” These two minor episodes don’t have too much to offer, though they do provoke plenty of speculation about topics including exactly how recently Jackie revived her career in the big rigs, whether there is an agreed-upon strategy for married couple finances, if an iPhone 4 would actually even work anymore, and most importantly, whether Chuck E. Cheese left his former ShowBiz Pizza bandmates to become the Foo Fighters to their Nirvana (or the Frasier to their Cheers). We enjoy more of Sara Gilbert’s tomfoolery this season and she cavorts around the living room in a leopard-print bodysuit, and we discuss Katherine’s love of another bodysuit-heavy program, Physical with Rose Byrne.

Join us for this random chatter plus even MORE randomness on the travesty that is the new Fatal Attraction series, our love of bad songs “I Wanna Kiss You All Over” and “She Drives Me Crazy,” Basic Instinct and the fantastic new season of You Must Remember This, Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret? and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!

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S5 E10: Nielsen Family Values

In our latest, we discuss The Conners season 5 episode “The Contra Hearings and the Midnight Gambler” alongside a classic Roseanne from season 7, “Couch Potatoes.” In particular we compare the plot of the family trying to impress Mark’s music teacher – played by guest star Whoopi Goldberg – with the memorable Roseanne moment when the Conners were selected to be a Nielsen family and have their TV-watching habits monitored. These plots both follow one of the shows’ favorite themes: that the Conner family is, as Roseanne puts its, “white trash and we’re gonna stay white trash until they haul us out to the curb.” We consider Roseanne’s and Darlene’s attempts to fit into a “classier” or more highbrow echelon of society, and how through the generations, the Conners seem to become more and more secure in embracing who they are.

Join us for this discussion plus Becky’s short-lived gambling addiction, Ben and Darlene as Peanuts characters, our love for Sister Act, disturbing novelty t-shirts, the 2019 BBC series Dublin Murders, and much more.

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S5 E9: Harris’s Decision

In our latest long and belated installment, we tackle three recent Conners: “Adding Insult To Injury,” “Possums, Pregnancy and Patriarchy,” and “Hiding In and Moving Out.” We discuss Darlene’s job search (with guest appearances by Jack McBrayer and Jamie Pressly) and bad attitude, Becky’s even worse attitude and thwarted attempt to commit fraud, Ben’s martyr complex (the man loves to complain almost as much as he loves to mansplain), and Louise’s sudden decision to “stop touring,” which seems to mean she must also stop fronting her band and start teaching guitar at a halfway house (Becky and Louise spin-off idea: Halfway House of Rock). But the core of this episode belongs to Harris’s pregnancy storyline, which disappoints us by paying lip service to a pro-choice position while ultimately choosing the tried-and-true TV route: Harris decides to have the child and suffers a miscarriage soon after. We praise, however, the way The Conners continues to realistically represent a working class family’s complex relationships and patterns in this storyline and others.

Join us for all this plus digressions on Daisy Jones and the Six, Priscilla Presley drama, Yellowjackets season 2, she sheds, hobos, possums and the famous Brenda pregnancy scare storyline on 90210. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!

*NOTE: Due to a microphone malfunction, the sound is a bit subpar on this episode. The issue is fixed and better sound awaits in episode 10!

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S5 E8: Designated Basket Case: Family Trauma in Roseanne

In our latest episode, we take a look back at two classic Roseannes that focus on Roseanne and Jackie’s father Al Harris: “This Old House” and “Wait ‘Til Your Father Gets Home.” These are two of the series’ most memorable episodes, as they reveal the physical abuse Roseanne and Jackie suffered as children and chronicle their efforts to heal — a process still ongoing for Jackie and Bev in The Conners. We consider the way trauma from the past seemed to shape Roseanne and Jackie’s lives, as well as how recent revelations on The Conners shape our own understanding of these episodes and all that remains unspoken about the Harris family.

We also discuss Roseanne Barr’s own public revelation, in 1991, that she was sexually abused by her parents — an accusation she partially retracted in the 2010s — and how she seemed to be wrestling with her own past during the years these episodes aired. We also talk about Roseanne’s then-partner Tom Arnold, who was seen at the time as riding Roseanne’s coattails but whose own childhood pain inspired a key part of “Wait ‘Til Your Father Gets Home.”

While this conversation can get a bit heavy, we have our comedic diversions as always, including string cheese, Barbra Streisand’s basement mall, MTV Beach House memories and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!

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